Tag Archive: inspirational


May 6th, 2014.

via May 6th, 2014.

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Our challenges are still like a mountain. The in depth pain of loosing my Munchkin was and still just seems like a dream. I keep wanting to just wake up and it was all a bad dream. A long, bad dream.

But it isn’t. I know it is reality and so I get up every day, put on a smile and go to work. I have to say I am thankful and blessed that I can still work at home, but my career involves me motivating people, training them and talking to my own customers. Try being the “perky person” during a season of emotional devastation. All I can say here is I have some really good friends!

Enough of that. I have made it, I am stronger and I will survive it!

How did I do it?

By seeing her in that one dream really touched me, internally. I felt a glimpse of the peace she was in. Unimaginable peace and the true definition of what God is.  I have never in my life ever had that kind of “feeling” like I did in my dream, and when I awoke.   I can still close my eyes and put myself back in that dream and feel those moments.  That is why it is so strange to speak of it, because I was not the same person as I am here.   Here I have the stress of daily life in my dream, there was no such thing.  Total peace.

It really boils down to Positive brings Positive and Negative brings Negative. Positive is Christ and all that he is and all that he offers.

One of my really good friends put it to me this way. “It isn’t meant that we are NOT to have,” because it is written that all you have to do is “Ask and it shall be.” It doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve something, it just means that what you are asking for is sometimes NOT what is meant to be for you! That if you put all of your faith in Christ and trust that faith, that Christ will lead your life into the right direction. We may call it “rewards,” but I would rather see it as positive attracting positive.

When we try to lead our own lives is where we get into trouble. Some times the path’s we are wanting to take do not have the best outcomes and yet we will fight our way to get it. When so many obstacles stand in our way, we try to see those as adversity and IF we try to overcome it, we will get what we want.

But IF you look at WHY those obstacles are in front of you to begin with…….you might come to realize that it  is Christ trying to steer you clear of what IS not meant for you! That it will only bring you unhappiness and emotional or physical trauma. IF you were to view those obstacles that were set in front of you as “a sign,” possibly one you were asking for but blind because it was not what YOU wanted, your life would of went on to a more positive path!

All of this is hard. It is hard to see what is right in front of our eyes. Because we are greedy in wanting certain things. But if we listened to our hearts and our own “inner feelings” we would come out way ahead.

I am guilty of this. But I like to FEEL the goodness that is upon and bestowed upon me every single day. When I do that, I feel wonderful! When I let the emotions try to take over, or my worries then I stress and get sad and burdened. Letting go of this and trusting that it will all be taken care of will lift your spirit to new heights, new beginnings and new wonderment into your own life.

I say this because I am guilty of it, but also because it lead to my Munchkin fighting for what she wanted or thought she wanted. When she stood on her own two feet and dug her heels in and put her faith and believe back in Christ, she glowed! Wonderful things came her way. When she tried to go back to what led her to the misery, she perished.

It is a daily, physical and emotional devotion so to speak, to hold your head up high, get up and smile and move forward. Trust in the “positive” because that is where you are at your best!

Much love.

The passage

Searching for answers and reason is a normal process in which we all must go through when we loose our children.  The reality is slow, yet it will come.  These first few posts are my way of dealing with some ongoing issues that I have and a release.  I will get through it, yet I will never get “over it.”  And never, ever use those words (get over it) to a person who has lost a child.  We “Get through it.”  Never do you get “over it.”  

Answers come in many formats.  The most common is having someone to talk to.  If you have a loved one, a friend, even just an acquaintance that has lost a child, please call them.  Even after so many months pass they still need a release.  It takes about a year to get passed the “open wound” that we feel.  The best way to describe it to people who say “I cannot imagine what you are going through” is to imagine part of your Soul gone.  It is such a deep, intense pain that feels like part of your insides have just been ripped out yet you are physically intact.  

When people say “I don’t know what to do.”  You lend an ear.  This is what they need.  Help keep them busy.  Idle minds is what we revert to and when we are idle we have nothing better to do than to think of what we no longer have. 

Send them letters or even a card months after just letting them know you are still thinking about them.  We believe our best passage is to not talk about it.  It is and it isn’t.  We have to move on, yet we feel guilty doing so because we are still here. 

Searching will come in forms of books.  I, myself cannot buy one that tells you how to “deal with loosing a child.”  I look more into the spiritual books.  I look to be closer to my children whom are in “different forms now.”  

They will question God and Why.  This is normal, but will pass in time.  God is what gets us through.  Our answers are not what we have been brought up to believe.  We question God because we cannot believe a child can be taken from us.  YET, the age doesn’t have any measure in our existence here.  I believe our “task” is done.  Completed.  We all come from God and we go home to God.  That is our ultimate reason for making our life here.  To go home and be with God.  

When our children make it there before we do.  Then you were blessed with souls who’s tasks here were short. We must endure because we still have many things to learn.  

Having faith will rest the fear. 

 

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