January 2nd was one day on my list that I wasn’t looking forward to.  Yet I did.  January 2nd would of been your 31st birthday here with us.  I chose not to wish you a Happy Birthday.  What was happy about it, you are no longer here to celebrate.

Do not get me wrong, we (my sisters and I and the grand children) decided to do something different.  We celebrated your life.  Kind of like a birthday, but my sisters knew how I felt.  It was also the first time the 2 oldest have been to your grave site.  Since we had the memorial and not the burial for a few weeks later their dad decided it was best to let them continue to heal and not reset their pain back then.  I had to agree.  They are young and at that age of not knowing full well how to deal with these emotions and he has done a great job getting you two through this.  So I called him ahead of time and asked his opinion about taking them and he said yes.  He thought they could handle it.  Since we are at almost a year since you’ve been gone.  They did great.

It was a cold, cold day as it was when you were born.  But that is January for you.  I know you were smiling at us there.   I, of course was the strong one out of everyone.  It was more locked inside and the children were there (Cason telling me I’d better not cry), so I didn’t (much).  It was beautiful.  I took these pictures and it came out like a picture from heaven.  So bless you for being there with us and we all made it through.


Much love,

Mom.1524846_10200900083737323_815202017_n 1486907_10200900085697372_1914446714_n